Welcome Beauty – This Week’s Sassy Saturday!
You may be wondering, where is my video? Well some of you have mentioned you prefer to read, so I am experimenting this week to write a classic blog article for you!
Today I want to talk to you about worthiness.
So the real question is, do you feel worthy of epic love? Right now, just the way you are?
Or are you feeling that you would be more worthy if, for example, you would lose fifteen pounds or if you had a more amazing job, if you had a great flat, if you didn’t have any room-mates anymore etc. I would be more worthy of amazing love if, if, if?
You might feel quite worthy or pretty worthy, but then that is not a feeling of true worthiness! Where does this feeling of un-worthiness come from and how can you recognise it?
One sign that shows you’re not feeling truly worthy, could be that you don’t feel good enough. You don’t feel good enough to have epic love or to have an amazing man. You may have doubts that amazing love is even possible for you, you may be feeling un-lucky in love or something similar.
Another typical thinking pattern that could prevent you from feeling worthy could be the ‘Who am I to…?’ way of thinking.
Who am I to want or have amazing love? Who am I to have financial abundance when there are so many people suffering? Who am I to think I deserve those things?
This way of thinking shows that you are not truly in your heart, feeling worthy of the things you desire and then they can’t come to you.
This un-worthiness can root from our conditioning. Our families may have explicitly, or un-explicitly, told us when we are worthy and when we are not. You are worthy when you look a certain way, you are worthy when you behave a certain way, you are worthy when you have a steady job, when you fulfil a certain kind of condition.
This is not true worthiness because, as Bréne Brown says so beautifully: ‘Worthiness has no prerequisites!’
You don’t have to fulfil any kind of requirement to be worthy, to have the things that you desire, to have abundance, to have amazing love!
So the first step to actually get closer to feeling the worthiness is to really realise the ridiculousness of it all. To really engrain within you that there are no prerequisites of feeling and being worthy. That just by being, you are worthy of love. That scrambling to fulfil the expectations of others, of society in order to be worthy of their appreciation and love is a totally ridiculous endeavour. That by being you, the true you, you are worthy of epic love.
Another typical thinking pattern is that we view ourselves in relation to the less fortunate and this is really where the whole “Who am I to have this and that when others don’t” pattern of thinking comes in.
So really have a look, what are you surrounding yourself with? Are you surrounding yourself with couples that have amazing love? With women that have amazing love? Or are you surrounding yourself with man-haters, with emasculators, with naggers, with people that are in unhappy, unfulfilled relationships that are not conscious, that are projecting all their issues onto their partners, and it all escalates into huge dramas?
Have a look, what surroundings do you have around you?
Because as humans, we adjust ourselves, our thinking, our behaviour, our possibilities to the average of our surroundings. It would take a really, really, super-enlightened person to not be influenced by the average that’s around them!
So the trick is to start to view yourself in relation to those that have that which you desire! To those that live and are the way that you would love to create your life. Surround yourself with people that have the things that you want and then this feeling ‘Of course, who am I NOT to have that?’ will come naturally! It will start to feel more easy, it will start to feel more accessible! Possibilities will open up before you that may have been there all along, but in the bubble of non-possibility you were in, you just couldn’t see them!
So let’s just have an example! Let’s say you are fifty, you are looking for love and you’re surrounding yourself with men that have really young girlfriends or with lot’s of women that claim that all the men in your age-range want the younger version of you!
This may lead you to think that if all these women don’t have that and don’t seem to think that I am worthy of it then who am I to actually go out and do exactly the thing which they say is impossible?
So start to surround yourself with the right energy, go on the internet, research all the women out there that have amazing love, that got married when they were sixty or married when they were forty.
You may think “Oh no! I am thirty-seven the time has passed me by and it’s too late to have a baby! Where will I find a man now? I missed the boat!”
Go and get inspired! Find the people who have had that! Find the women who met a man when they were forty and then went on to getting married and having a baby!
This also has a lot to do with the power of focus.
Are you focusing on the people that don’t have what you want or don’t think that what you want is possible? Or are you focusing on surrounding yourself with the people that have achieved the things that you desire?
Look for evidence that that which you desire is possible!
Another typical source for unworthiness can come from our society, which puts a lot of emphasis on being perfect. If you are not perfect, you are not worthy! The whole beauty of being human get’s lost in this statement!
Try to catch yourself in those moments and say “Hey, I am human and no matter which mistakes I make, no matter how I look, no matter what my circumstances are, I am worthy.”
If you’re having difficulties doing this, to really let go of this need for perfection with yourself, one really beautiful way is to open up and ask for support. You can open up to the divine, you can pray, if that’s your thing, you can meditate, you can ask for support from the goddesses, you can open up to a friend and become vulnerable.
You can go and get yourself a love-coach and really admit “I need support in this! I want to make it happen! I want to attract love into my life soon! I don’t want to wait anymore and I don’t want to waste my life-time anymore on men that aren’t it!”
Tell your friends that you are looking for love and that they should support you! Look for the friends that can support you in that!
Open up for support and become vulnerable. Vulnerability is another emotion or way of being that society likes to suppress. It wants to keep it down. It doesn’t want us to actually become, again as Brené Brown calls it, ‘Whole hearted beings’.
A big part of that is to become vulnerable. There is such beauty in vulnerability! There is such strength in vulnerability and such realness.
Realness is really one of things that high quality men value in women. They want a real woman. A high quality man wants a woman who is being herself and who can be vulnerable. Without projecting, without making dramas, without being addicted to dramas.
There lies such power and such beauty in vulnerability. We really want to school that within us and for that you have to be a little bit brave. You have to open-up and as you practise this, it really becomes a lot easier with time. Suddenly you are just being vulnerable and authentic all over the place without even knowing it consciously. It has simply become the way you are.
Before you take any action in love, for example, before you go on Tinder or before you go on a date, before you talk to your friends about love, get into this space of feeling good enough and feeling worthy!
A great tool for me that helps me, is to make a list. I have this inner judge who always comes back and starts ‘reminding’ me of all the reasons of why I am not worthy, and which requirements I would have to meet to be worthy and amazing.
I write down a list of all the things that I feel are amazing about me and I read that list whenever I need a pick-me-up, whenever I don’t feel in a space of abundance, a space of feeling worthy and a space of self-love.
I take out my list and read it and in the process I may find and add a few other things. Such as ‘I am amazing because I keep reading my amazing-list whenever I need it’ 🙂
Its all about accepting your human-ness and about furthering the things that are amazing about you. You are schooling yourself to focus on that and then more and more of that will come into your life.
So here is a recap on the ways that you can actually get into a space of worthiness.
1. Realise that this is ridiculous and that worthiness has no prerequisites. If you want, write that somewhere! Post it somewhere! On your bathroom mirror or in your office. Wherever you need it! Make it your phone background. Worthiness has no prerequisites!
2. Surround yourself with people and circumstances that have that which you desire. Look for evidence that it can be done. Research and look into to people that have managed to do what it is that you want to do. Don’t give any time or energy to people telling you that it’s not possible or to discouraging posts on social media.
3. Open up! Become vulnerable. Ask for help, from the divine, from friends, from coaches, from online communities. Open up!
4. Make your amazing list! Always remind yourself ‘I am amazing and I am worthy of epic love’ before you take any kind of action in the outside world for your love-life.
I wish you a beautiful love-filled week end and beautiful experiences of your worthiness!
Lot’s of love!
Does Your Love-Life Need Support?
If you are ready to be magically supported in your journey to amazing love and to begin doing things in a new way so you get what you want from a man that you want, apply to meet with me online in a FREE "Empowered Path to Love Session". In this session we will design your 3 step love plan together and have a feel if you and me are a good match to finally attract in your soul-partner.